NATurally

Two Year Anniversary

2009-11-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

This month I will have been natural for two years! It's exciting to me because adapting to the needs of hair you've never seen, run your fingers over (which I did often after my BC!), or maintained takes effort and consistency. I'm so happy to have gone natural and although it has taken some getting use to, the time I put into my hair truly has become a labor of love.

During year two I wondered what I would have to figure out - added length brings added time, product, and without a doubt detangling. So I started reading posts about longer natural hair at my favorite hair forum "Happy Curls" and bought products that worked for the ladies there. This is a good idea, to a point, but in the end I typically found nothing that worked for them worked for me. My hair is 100% different from anybody else's on this planet so taking tips willy-nilly proved useless to me in my quest for moisturized, lovely hair.

Then I started hearing the ladies toss around a term, "Hair Twin", and I set out to find mine. A Hair Twin is someone who has hair very close to the type growing from your very own follicles. It's the closest you can get to hair that is like yours. Especially among African American women, hair texture can run the gamut. We all naturally have a curl pattern to our hair, but said pattern can range from very loose (culminated into big bouncy curls) to very tightly coiled curls. Finding your twin in that mix can be tricky, but I followed a lady on Happy Curls and found we have similar hair - she is my hair twin.

My twin uses a ton of different products, none of which I plan on incorporating into my hair regimen, but different hair growth issues would arise and I would feel like she was preaching to the choir. During year two my ends desperately needed a trim. Little did I know, initially, this would cause massive tangling, matting, locking, in a word: disaster. My twin spoke often of how her hair would just flip the script on her when it needed a trim - after having my hair trimmed I found this to be better than ANY product on the market. The tangling has subsided tremendously and detangling is no longer a nightmare. Who knew trims were so vital to the curly girl?

Another big issue that came up during year two was dryness. And I don't mean just "Oh my hair is a little dry today." I mean when I scrunched my hair in my hand I could HEAR it respond underneath. Seriously? I began to think this was my hair's plot in life and I was not pleased.

When you go natural you hear about how dry African American hair is, especially in its natural state so it's to be expected. I think I expected it a little too much to the point where I figured, "why bother, it's just going to be DRY anyway!" During year two I tried the worst kinds of products on my hair in hopes of shiny, moisturized, quiet hair. Grease my mom used on me when I was a kid, a kid with relaxed hair that is. It worked wonders then, but not so much on natural hair! It seemed to make my hair happy upon application, but in the morning my hair was a greasy mess! It just layed on my strands.

In the end I decided to try jojoba oil on my hair - not easy to apply by any means, but boy does my hair show signs of sheer joy after I use the natural oil. Makes sense: natural hair, natural oils.

Dryness and tangling were the battles of this past year, but since discovering what my hair prefers, what it needs, I am happy to oblige. And my "natural-versary" is in November, I discovered all of the helpful hair hints in OCTOBER. Yes, it was a rough year. I even considered my stylist's suggestion of a texturizer...that's a whole 'nother post in itself.

So my new hair regimen is as follows:
-wash twice with Cream of Nature Ultra Moisturizing (plus a teaspoon of jojoba added to the bottle)
-condition with Silk Elements Luxury Conditioner (to which I also added 1 tsp of jojoba)
-while in shower, comb through conditioner and leave for a couple of minutes before rinsing
-after rinsing immediately apply Cantu Shea Moisture Leave-In throughout hair (not just on the top!) and run a nickle sized amount of jojoba through ends of hair
-I detangle my hair and braid or twist into big sections as I detangle
-once all hair is braided or twisted, I go back through and divide the big sections in half and twist/braid again. Keep a spray bottle of purified water on hand because the hair will dry FAST seemingly just because you want it to stay damp.
-If I'm not going anywhere I keep in my braids/twists or ensure they are all dry and take them down to wear out for the day.
-My hair never goes to "bed" without it being twisted/braided up again. On night 3 or so after having it washed, I'll apply jojoba throughout, then wear my satin bonnet to sleep.

This has worked well for me lately...but just wait, it's sure to change on me again although I hope it is much later. Moisture is the key with natural hair, and spritzing water over your hair daily helps as well. Pure water that is!

If I've learned nothing this year I have learned that natural hair will give back to you whatever you put into it. A little effort goes a long way! Here's to the next year!

Normalcy

2009-02-09T16:07:00.001-08:00

Because I found out people, or a person, actually reads this blog I decided to update it. It's been awhile and my hair seems to do what it wants when it wants to but I'm slowly figuring out when change will occur and how to keep things in check. I have finally reached a sense of normalcy with this natural hair of mine.

Poofy at times, curly when wet, an afro that I can "hide" under all describe the halo of afro-textured hair I sport. I love my hair, but not like I used to when it was all so new to me. My love for it has changed from infatuation and amazement to feeling like it's actually a part of me - the thrill is gone, sort of. I think my relationship with my hair can be likened to a relationship between a man and a woman: we're just comfortable with one another.

Normalcy seemed elusive during the first year of natural hair. I was playing trial and error all the time and when I decided I was sick of that I just stopped playing. Now my hair just does what I need it to do....typically. When it misbehaves I know how to whip it back into shape. This was not the case during year one.

The growth may contribute to this comfortable place I'm in. It's long enough to braid, to twist, to wear in a fro with a headband in place - always - and maybe I'm just comfortable with what I look like with natural hair. Virtually anything goes and I feel quite confident...not necessarily the case before!

So here I am, 1 year 3 months into this natural hair journey and I don't have to visit the Happy Curls web site every day. I don't need anyone to coach me every little step of the way and I feel confident in dealing with my hair on a daily basis. I know what my hair likes and needs, most of the time. I've gone natural and I will never, ever go back!

Some of the products I'm using now:
1) Cream of Nature Ultra-moisturizing shampoo
2) Silk Elements Luxurious conditioner
3) a mixture of castor and coconut oils - warmed to liquify, applied to hair and scalp
4) Hot Sixx natural oil - LOVE this for daily sheen and moisture

One Year Natural

2008-11-13T17:28:00.001-08:00

This month marks my first year natural. It's been an interesting year with my induction being a short, short cut. As time went on I discovered I had no longer had the desire to force my hair to stay coily and let it fro to its natural state. I learned what would work for my hair, what would dry it out, and what would make it shine (like last month). I had days when I wondered why I thought going natural was a good idea and other days I would comb my hair into a crowning afro that garnered the attention of even black folk.

From the start at 2 inches to the length I've acquired over the year, I must say I'm proud to have taken this "journey" on and reaching one year makes the days ahead all the more exciting! Yes, it's just hair as some tell me like I really don't know that. But it's so different for me, this natural thing, that it's been similar to learning something new. It's fun and it's mine to enjoy so I'm going to enjoy it!! Breaking out of the monotony that was relaxed hair was a bit unnerving at the start, the only time I'd had hair that short was when I was very, very young. A time I don't remember. So it's an achievement and I'm thankful my stylist mom has been there, however reluctant, to help me tame it, nourish it and stay natural. She even learned to "deal" with this new hair and I'm so glad she did.

It was my mom who excitedly washed my hair last weekend, blow dried it into the large fro you see here, then flat ironed it into submission. I had to have one full inch cut from the ends, which taught me to get a good trim every 3 months to avoid hanging on to dead ends for that long. All in all, my hair was just gorgeous. It shined and had layers that grew into place naturally, much like my daughter's hair grows. My hair is now the length it was before mom cut the relaxed ends off. It's far more layered than I ever wore it relaxed, but basically, it's all there.

This year was the beginning of a pretty cool journey. I wonder what this next year will hold for my natural hair. I'll just brace myself for a bumpy ride.

Um, braids

2008-10-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

It's late October and around the Mile High City it's starting to get pretty chilly outside. I'm quickly approaching my first "Nappiversary" and I'm thrilled but it also makes me think more about what I need to do for my hair to keep it healthy and growing strong.

This time last year, well in November 07, I was newly natural and thought I could wear Wash and Go's (WAGs) every day. I didn't just think this was a good idea, I actually wet my hair virtually every day to get the look I wanted. It was short, about 2 inches all over, so I couldn't exactly do any protective styles because I wasn't comfortable with that length in twists or braids and I'm not one who wants fake hair to add length. Wetting my hair via co-washes was what I did but I can not and will no do that this year.

My hair is much longer now, about 6 or 7 inches all over, but it is time to protect my hair from the cold weather. When dryness is your hair's M.O. you have to take the lead and be sure to hold on to every bit of moisture you can get. So protective styles it will be.

I decided, last night, to try out box braids (single braids). They turned out better than I hoped but they still are kind of...hm. I don't think I want to wear them out - although I did today - because they don't feel as cute as I would like but I do think I'd like them if someone else could do them for me. Go figure. It seems most styles look better, in my opinion, when someone does them for me. That doesn't help me take care of my own hair the way I hoped when I went natural.

So to keep it simple I will braid my hair and leave them in unless I go out. Maybe I can talk my stylist, aka mom, into braiding it for me small enough that I can leave them until December? Wouldn't that be fabulous?!

In a World of Weaves

2008-10-02T11:56:00.000-07:00

In September I took a trip to Mexico with a bunch of ladies. When you, as a natural, venture out with Black women who stick religiously to weave hair for styling it can become glaringly obvious that natural is still not the norm. At what point did we as a race of women decide that our hair was good for little else than gluing or braiding fake hair into it? Am I crazy for thinking that we've bought into the euro-ideology that longer and straighter is better?

Three of the 8 of us was weaved to the max. I am natural, the other two relaxed. The rest: colors, length for days, and straight as Indian hair - weaved to the max. Even my own mother decided to top her "love knot" off with a coily ponytail for our night out. Weave, weave, everywhere.

Is straight hair better? Prettier? Although I have my moments of insecurity, I always find myself back at the same conclusion. Straight hair is in fact more common, maybe more manageable, definitely tends to be shinier - but better or prettier, surely not.

I once was asked by a woman whose opinion I once respected "a woman's hair is her crowning glory - so why would you chop it all off"? How can chemically altered or just plain FAKE be any more of a crowning glory than my naturally coily, cottony in some places head of hair?

In a world of weaves it can be hard to strut your stuff when yours is a head of shorter, "poofier" hair that tends to be less common. It's sad that nearly a year into this natural thing I still find myself a shrinking violet in a garden of fake daisies. I could just kick myself.

In a good place

2008-09-12T09:51:00.001-07:00

My hair is finally doing what I hoped it would all along. It's got this fun twisted look that I'm able to manipulate into a face-framing coil fest and I'm loving it! So how'd I get here?

I had my hair colored a few weeks back - a really warm cinnamon brown I wasn't exactly expecting but my stylist, aka mom, took matters into her own hands and luckily I always like what she does. SO, while she twisted my hair she suggested I take small sections and run a moisturizer through each one so my hair won't be so dry.

"My hair will be a greasy mess," I retorted.
"Okay then, do what you do," she replied.

When I got home and was finally forced to take out the twists (my mom's an hour away and I'd gone on a mini-vacay) I decided to try her method. None of mine were working after all. It took FOR-EV-ER to oil each little section before I twisted it and I hoped, with each twist that this would work.

I went to bed, woke to some serious oil slicks on my pillow and my hair tie but as I untwisted each twist I discovered gorgeous coils that actually shined! Yes, MY HAIR shines using this method. Oil was too greasy, my hair didn't absorb it all and I don't know how to use any less so I tried a leave-in conditioner and didn't like that. Recently I tried a light hair "dressing" or grease by TCB and it looks and feels really great!! Then I can gently separate the twists for this gorgeous twist-out. I'm just lovin' it.

The lesson? Some naturals have to force moisture into the hair and if it's thick enough that requires we divide that stuff up. Grease may not be moisturizing my hair, but it holds in the moisture I do have after washing/conditioning/and deep treatments. It looks and feels happy so I'll stick with it until this head of hair decides it doesn't want to do it anymore...then we'll be back to the drawing board!

Updated Pictures - 8/08

2008-08-16T16:54:00.001-07:00

This crazy combed out afro shows just how "big" my hair has gotten...and I am LOVING it!

At some point I gave up on the idea that I had, HAD, to define my curl pattern and there's such a freedom to truly accepting my hair's texture instead of fighting it - which is how I felt when trying this product and that one to make this head of hair curl. I do let it go curly some days, but most days I'm in a protective style or an afro.

It's growing pretty quickly, although I'm at a point where it's not long and it's not short. Which is why I stick close to protective styles so I don't have to even think about it too hard!

To Dye or Not to Dye - That is the question

2008-08-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

"You're not natural if you put chemical on your hair - ANY chemical," said the hairstylist mother to the daughter with newly natural hair.
"Well I'm not wearing this gray, so let's get to coloring!" I told my mom.

Because the work vs. stay-home debate among women isn't enough to argue about. Or light-skinned women have it easier than dark-skinned women. We as women have more than enough to discuss amongst ourselves, but when I heard the insanity of to dye or not to dye I knew I had surely heard it all.

In short, very short, I decided to go without relaxer because getting I wanted to be able to do what I wanted with my hair like wash it daily after hitting the gym. Simple as that. Over time it has become so much more about loving the hair texture God gave me. At 29, and since I was 16, I have no desire to be as gray as I am. Therefore I color. Period, dot.

I do me, and that means I do semi-permanent every six weeks or so. And once I find a color I think I'd like I'll make it a lighter shade of brown. If you like henna to dye your hair, more power to you, if you take natural to the fullest degree, even more power to you. I'm sure when I'm older I let the grays fly free, but today? Today I will chemically alter my hair color and I remain natural because for me, that means free of relaxer. Need I say more?

Castor Oil? Who knew??

2008-08-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

My hair was indeed a hot, fiery mess earlier this month but I got a wild hair and decided to try out the unopened bottle of castor oil I purchased months ago. I poured some into my hand and thought, "Oh gross, what could this do for anyone but loosen the bowels?" It was almost sticky and tough to apply to my hair, but I got it done and tossed on my head rag and waited.

About an hour or so later I decided to shampoo (Cream of Nature's Moisturizing) and condition (Silk Elements Luxurious Conditioning) and hope for the best. And the best was just what I got. My hair was so soft and manageable, where usually I have a lot of tangles I could slide the comb through my hair post-castor oil treatment. I was so excited about that that I decided to twist my hair because it was just so easy to work with. A day or so later, once my twists had completely dried I looked closely at a twist and noticed...what's that?...something I haven't seen since my relaxer days?....oh SNAP, is that SHEEN? I was th-rilled. I didn't think my hair could shine, but man did it ever with that castor oil.

I have worn my twists and currently a twist-out since last Wednesday, almost a week now, and have not had my usual "itchies" or temptation to co-wash to get that product build-up feel out (there hasn't been any!). I don't know what will happen on my next treatment with castor oil, but it makes me so happy I could dance! Who knew it'd work for anything more than the grandparents' remedy for tummy aches? SNAP!

A Hot, Fiery MESS

2008-08-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

It's early August and it's hot. It's too hot for a 'fro, it's too hot to keep the wild-child suspended beneath a bandana. So what's a girl to do? This hair of mine it a hot, fiery mess and I don't know what to do with it anymore!

You should see it, it's an untamed 'fro that just needs some help. There's no curl definition - my trusty product seemed to dry it out - and again, wearing a hair-hat aka 'fro is just not an option when we're in the mid-90s!

I'm off to Mexico next month and as I look ahead I'm going to try out some styles now and see what I decide on for my vacation. From cornrows, no synthetic hair added, to comb coils I've got to find something to help get me through the hottest time of the year. I'm sure the hubby and the kids are sick of looking at my hair wondering, What is she gonna do with that mess? After all, I know I'm sick of wondering the very same thing.

Eight Months In

2008-07-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm about 8 months into this natural hair journey of mine and I'm happier and happier I decided to go natural. I have to be honest, not every day is so giddy. Lately I find myself looking for ways to tuck my coils away in protective styles that allow me to take a break from the necessary styling. Not because I don't like my hair but it can get tedious having to pick out my hair - into my signature afro - or condition it for my curlier days. It just requires I do something to it every day. I may not be going out, but I know my family gets tired of me looking crazy around the house or with a rag tied on my head.

Natural hair, especially when it's shorter and unwilling to be pulled into a ponytail, just demands more time. Plain and simple. But there are days I simply lonnnnng for the ease of a ponytail.

Funny thing is, I have a, as we speak, a puff of a ponytail on the back of my head. It's so cute, only half of my hair, and I'm so glad it's growing...it's strong...it's beautiful. It only gets more so with every passing month.

It's Been Awhile

2008-06-09T13:28:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since my last post and I have some major growth to go along with that amount of away time. As my hair grows, each strand seems to display its own texture as if it's proud to be different. Much like my children, my hair never ceases to amaze me.

Today after I wet it in the shower my hair had some fabulous coils here and there, primarily around the perimeter of my head. Those coils are so darned cute. Then there's the area in the front that proceeds to the middle of my head, much like a mohawk, that is a cottony cloud. So imagine this, coils, not really curls so much - more like a spring that has sprung from a pen, running along the outside of puffy, poufy cloud.

What on earth is a girl to do with that combination? I'll tell you the only way to get my whole head in a uniform look is to, with conditioner - and I mean a lot of conditioner - comb it all out. Then my whole head is a cottony cloud, usually leaving behind just a coil or two that has made its hiding place behind my ear.

I am still amazed by natural hair and by the fact that more black women don't have a clue what their hair is like under that relaxer. Natural hair is beautiful, it's versatile, it is a part of what makes us different from straight-haired women. In reality, most of the straight-haired women can do nothing else with that texture, so why pull my coils into submission to look like everyone else? For me, natural hair is what makes me stand out. I am not my hair, but I'm glad that what my hair does say about me is that I'm happy with ME...naturally.

Black Girl

2008-04-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

What is it about being a black girl that can make things far more difficult than they have to be? When I was growing up in Dayton, Ohio, I was a quiet, shy little girl with very few friends. The friends I did have at that time looked like me or were white. As a "high yella" girl with long black hair, I was not a favorite among the brown-skinned girls whose hair tended to be much shorter. I think it was then in my life that I decided what color meant. I learned it from black people, not white people, girls who were black just like me.

I was often taunted, pushed and intimidated by brown-skinned girls as though I thought I was better, cuter, smarter than they. Quiet as I was there was no other reason for them to harrass me than the skin God chose to cover me in. I sho' didn't take boys they liked, I didn't get into boys until I was about 12 years old - for real. Somewhere along the line they had learned that there is a graduation of color that goes from dark to white and the closer you fall to white, the better. To them, I suppose, I was better.

To me, it's pointless to argue the light-skinned vs. dark-skinned with a dark-skinned woman because it's like white people telling me there is no racism. I always want to tell them, You are not black so what do you know? If I feel there are forces at work against me because I am a black woman a white person should accept it and move on because he or she can never know where I am coming from. So when a dark-skinned woman says she feels the opposite end of the spectrum is treated better in whatever ways, I take it with a grain of salt.

I believe we all want what we can't have. Many darker women marry lighter men, even white, in hopes to have a lighter child. I hoped the children growing inside my womb would take on more coloring of their father, who is dark-skinned, because I wanted to teach my daughter differently: she was beautiful because of her skin and no one could make her feel inferior unless she allowed them to. I teach my daughter the same thing now, only I guess I wanted to be the great light hope in a world of dark-skinned sisters who seem to feel that my lighter skin makes them less beautiful, less desirable, less.

We as black women have to take the power back from white America who has insisted that we be separate. If they can separate the black race, they've won, but when they've separated black women our entire being is threatened. What about our cocoa, caramel and chocolate babies? Where will our beautiful black men lay their tired heads? We'll be a people divided because some are closer to the "white is right" end of the spectrum when white America couldn't care less about any of us. America has stripped us of who we as a people are and we believe all of their lies. Do we really want to continue to give them all of our power?

I'm Here...Finally!!!

2008-03-24T12:16:00.001-07:00

So we've had some major computer issues. I've missed writing so badly my journal is loading up quickly, but I guess that's not such a bad thing. But I'm back, and I'm so glad I am!

The hair...we've tried a few things out, a mayonnaise deep treatment (questionable at first but when I started styling it and it dried, it was sooo soft and sooo curly! wow). But today I had my mom twist my hair up and I actually like it! The idea is to wear it in a twist out tomorrow for Easter Sunday, and I will, but I think this twisted 'do will be nice for a break from the daily "grind" that is my hair styling.

It's healthy, it's growing and I've stopped stressing about the whole "is it dry, will it break off, am I doing it right??" thing so I think I've hit a good stride with this natural hair and I'm never, ever going to look back.

I said it - N E V E R!!!

Three Months Along...

2008-02-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

In pregnancy, three months along for me meant the onset of the extreme, violent, forceful vomiting that would kick into high-gear in month four. But the increasing nausea made it clear that the ugly side of pregnancy was well on its way.

Where this hair of mine is concerned? It's beginning to feel the same way. My hair is so incredibly dryyyyy and I'm so very sick and tired of it ALREADY. I'm only three months in and I'm still trying hard to figure out what the heck I'm gonna do with this mess of mine.

Hopefully I'll have a much happier, lighter update for you soon...right now? I'm struggling.

Bad Hair Days are Just Plain BAD

2008-01-29T11:31:00.000-08:00

Back in the days of relaxed, long, flowing hair a bad hair day was all-too-easy to remedy: PONYTAIL. The ponytail was a very common hair "style" for me before my Big Chop and it never, ever failed me. Between a soft brush and some moisturizer, there was no stopping a smooth, pretty ponytail.

Fast-forward to post Big Chop.

"Mommy, I don't like your hair like that," said my usually complimentary 3 year old son.

"You DON'T?" I ask. "Well, I don't either." If you ever need an opinion...ask Nasir, he knows what he likes and will tell you whether it's good or bad!

In an attempt to soak my third child (aka my hair) in moisture I washed it then did an olive oil treatment followed by another wash and twisting. Now I wasn't planning on sporting this 'do anywhere but today I decided to take a little jaunt to the bookstore. I could have easily unleashed my twists, sprayed with water and applied gel to bring it down a bit, but why go through all that? So I went out with the twist-out (picture D.L. Hughley only wilder). Can you say BAD HAIR DAY?

But when your hair is about 3.5 inches long what do you DO? I am not a wig kinda girl, I just see my wig being twisted the wrong way or itching my head...no thanks. And if I did have a hat I was wearing a sweat suit, what hat goes with THAT look? Plus, short hair and a baseball cap...I'll pass on looking like a boy. It occurred to me that I could have used a headband or scarf to make it look better but I was already in the car well on my way.

"Just rock it like you planned on your hair looking like this" has been my motto since the Big Chop and today I did just that. Surprisingly I didn't get any second-takes from the few moms that were at the bookstore. I guess I rocked it like "this is hot ain't it?" Or they figured I preferred it this way.

So with each day I find more interesting trials to overcome but I really try hard to do it with at least a little bit of class. Heck, if I don't I'll be stuck at home trying to "fix" my hair when it's just better to take it with a grain of salt and buy several more scarfs to tie around my head. Now THAT is a safe bet.

Natural Hair is TOTALLY Different

2008-01-23T14:55:00.000-08:00

It seems to have taken ages for the hair product market to catch up to the Black woman's desire for long, straightened hair once the relaxer took hold of our culture but now you can find an endless supply and variety of hair moisturizers, shiners, glossifiers, you NAME it, they make it.

Now go into the beauty supply store to find something specifically made FOR and good for natural hair and you're going to struggle. An employee at Trade Secrets in Fort Collins knows what Black women should try because her manager is Black and tests products for said use. That's wonderful, I thought, because just a few years ago I went into a chain salon to get my hair washed...yes just WASHED...and the stylists looked at me (and my relaxed hair) like I had 3 heads!

"We don't do Ebony hair," was the response. I was just happy she was upfront because not all of them are!

So Trade Secrets is moving up in the world. Then it occurred to me, I wonder if the manager has relaxed hair, so I asked.

"Yes, it's relaxed. Oh, and we know how to do relaxers too, someone came in to show us!" the employee said excitedly. Funny.

"Oh, well my hair is natural and I know, from experience, that my hair won't react to products the way relaxed hair does. Thanks for your help though!" I said.

She probably has no clue, to this day, what the difference is but after trying a few things my mom suggested I realize there are some key ingredients to look for in products for natural hair. Thanks to nappturality.com I got some help on this.

If your hair is natural, use products with the following ingredients and you almost can't go wrong!

*glycerin - A humectant and emollient, it absorbs moisture from the air, thereby keeping moisture in.

*cetearyl alcohol - Leaves hair feeling softer

I am aware that many ingredients are considered unsafe, but if you are looking to buy products on the market these two are pretty good as far as natural hair goes. You can also make your own (see Motown Girl for recipes) or you can buy natural hair products, from Carol's Daughter and, I'm sure, many other makers.

By the way, one of my newest FAVORITE products is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor, you get curls very similar to the result you get when using Mixed Chicks for only $3!! WooHOO!!

My Favorite Products

2008-01-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

As of today, I have a few favorite hair products that make my curly mane look and feel just how I like it. And, you'll be glad to know because I know I am, that they are all very affordable!

-Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner ($11-12)
-Proclaim w/Aloe Vera & Protein Activator Gel ($1.50-3 depending on size)
-Pantene Classic In Control Mousse ($2-3)
-Pro Line Comb-Thru Softener AND their Lite Creme Moisturizer ($6 total)

I "water wash" my hair (get wet daily in the shower) then apply the Pro Line products, then either the Activator gel or mousse, depending on what I feel like. The mousse will give nice curl with hair that newly washed or at least conditioned in the shower, but the activator gel will do a great job on hair that lightly misted or soaked.
The Mixed Chicks product is used after washing (no-poo wash or just water wash) and you can get by with just that for the day. I don't use the MC product daily because it's the most expensive but it's perfect when I don't want to wonder how my hair will turn out for, say a party or event where I want to look my very best. As an at-home mom, gel or mousse does the trick and I'd even use one of those if I worked. Want MAJOR curls and got some dough to put into it? Mixed Chicks will do the job well.
I have tried Miss Jessie's product Curly Pudding (the purple one) and gotten fabulous curls but A) it's expensive ($30+), B) left my curls a bit too hard for my taste, C) leaves white flakes in my hair when it dries after 2 days so it would require a wash every other day. There are other products through Miss Jessie, but this particular one did not work well for me.
Another product that does not help natural hair is oil sheen, it just sits on the hair, and the Proclaim Glossing Polish just absorbs into the hair. I haven't found anything that shines my hair yet, but Motown Girl has a suggestion or two I'll be trying soon...I'll let you know how it goes for me!

If you have any product tips or ideas, let me know! I'm willing to try just about anything!

Travel...and the Hair

2008-01-02T14:55:00.000-08:00

With so many important issues plaguing our world today I often think...and my blog is about hair. But, there's plenty out there about Bush, the war, our 2008 election (thank the Lord!), and hunger in third world countries. I won't apologize for having a blog all about my hair and that of many women of color, so Happy New Year and thanks for stopping by!!

{{{{{{Now back to your regularly scheduled programming}}}}}

My darling husband's pretty cool career often allows us little getaways to various sporting events around the country. Over New Year's Eve it whisked us away to Orlando, Florida for four days in the warm, humid climate that I longed for after two back-to-back snow storms and extremely cold weather plagued the Mile High City. I worried a bit about what I would wear, I didn't have much by way of summer clothes then it occurred to me: I'd never worn natural hair in humidity.

"This should be interesting," I thought.

I quickly decided it might be best to just go with what I know. How much damage could the wet air do, right? So I started packing. My hair just might LOVE the moisture, in Denver we have none.

-Curl Activator hair gel
-"lite" moisturizer (why can't they spell it correctly?)

Check, check. No curling irons, combs, ponytail holders, nothing. I hoped for the best and we were off.

When I got to Orlando all was well. My hair, to me anyway, appeared to take waaay more product to curl it up, but as it dried it seemed to get a bit bigger (read: poofy) with some curlier curls right along the edges where it is a bit thinner.

"Maybe it's time for a cut," I thought. "Babe, if I need to get it cut every couple of weeks I'll have to let it grow out, I can't keep up with that kind of maintenance." Silence from babe. I know he's so sick of my drama where the hair is concerned but he still has to hear it!

Needless to say my hair was wonderfully behaved although each day I had to stand under a stream of hard water to help loosen or "open up" my curls, as Jayla says. The water made my hair feel like I'd dumped salt or baking soda all over it and the water couldn't compete.

"Had to be the water." I know natural hair loves water but not hard water, so I'm chalking any poofies up to that lovely water provided by the Peabody Hotel...I can't wait to get back home to my OWN water issues to wash it and get back to normal. But I might still need a cut, definitely a color because the gray simply does NOT curl it's just straight and wiry, somehow I'll have to work my hair into submission so I can let it grow. We'll see what happens!!!

Happy NEW YEAR by the way!!

He Loves Me...

2007-12-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about my entry detailing Babe's (my hubby) reaction to my hair when I did the "big chop" and I remind myself to come back and update the evolution of said disapproval.

A week or so ago I went to a stylist who has natural hair and knows how to care for it..oh, and cut it, which was a good thing because after combing my hair out up and away from my scalp I needed a good trim. Who knew my hair would grow so fast?? Anyway, I planned on getting a good wash and deep condition because Babe agreed with me that I shouldn't get any cut. Any little curl that joined the coils covering my head were keepers in his opinion, or so I thought.

Not long ago I asked him if I should grow it out all wild and curly, okay, just grow it out and he says, "nah, I'm getting used to it being short, I like it." I immediately wore the "duh" face. I was, and still am, baffled.

So, at the salon I called him to get his final opinion and he says, "have her trim it and see what you think." So I did and it's beautiful. Much easier to manage, read: product and water makes it curl nicely, and keep moisturized. Rasheeda did her thang with this little 'fro.

The last thing I need women to know about going natural, whether you're considering it or just wondering WHAT I could have been thinking, is that a short, sexy, sassy 'do has the ability to make you feel like the "nubian princess" God made you to be. Again, I've never felt sexier and it shows in the way I dress and how flirtatious I've become with my man. I'm much more confident, it's kind of like there's no hiding behind the hair so you either embrace your newfound beauty or hide under a head wrap...which I do on bad hair days only.

So whatever his reasoning for changing his tune, Babe has his same ol' crazy, naggin' wife with a sassy new look and a fabulous outlook to boot. There's no denying it, I'm a new woman and he simply can't resist me. I love it!

Having some Issues

2007-12-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

So I'm about 5 days short of a month since having had my very own "big chop" and much like a month-old baby to a brand new mother, the thrill is gone. Maybe not gone, but I've hit a bump or two.

My hair, my glorious, beautifully curly-sometimes straight-sometimes NOT so beautiful hair has grown a bit and that little bit has forced me to change my routine. Why couldn't it be easy? I had it down pat after a week or so and was feeling mighty fly, but today and the past few days have proven a bit...dried out and unmanageable. If you've ever had a bad hair day, try a bad 3 days...in a row, with no hope and no real understanding of where you've gone wrong.

Okay, here in good ol' Colorado, winters are incredibly dry. Well we've gotten snow and 35 degree and below days since my hair catastrophe. I washed it on Saturday, like I usually do. I go all out with the deep conditioning and hair dryer, the whole shabang. Why after I washed it did my head covering feel like dry, fragile straw?

"Hm," I thought, "maybe I need to do a clarifying treatment to get the gunk out and combat the hard water (gotta love Colorado)." So I tried said remedy. Why was my hair even harder, dryer and more fragile feeling than before? I panicked.

"Natural hair is extremely fragile, especially if it's coiled," I remembered reading. Mine is coiled like a spring, read: fragile. What if it's broken? What if I've completely ruined my baby?!! With my stylist, aka mom, in Africa until January I'm going to have to deal with this on my own for another...another...THREE weeks!?

Panic has set in. It's still here because I don't know what to do with this baby of mine. I love her so much but I feel like every idea I have in hopes of "repairing" her takes me three steps back and at this point, I'm so far behind I can't afford to go any further!

So I baby my baby. Yesterday was spent saturated in a natural oil with a silk scarf to cover it. I prayed about my baby last night, going natural is important to me and I just can't see God leaving me out here with the hair HE gave me, feeling hopeless and, well, fragile. Today I had to go out and wanted to see how much the oil helped...my scalp feels better but my hair still seems very, very dry. Once I'm done writing here I'm going to saturate once again and tie it down, again.

I've hit a bump in the road and my hair is having some issues, but once we get on the same page I think my baby and I will get along famously. If I can adjust to my, now, 6 1/2 year old daughter after the sheer shock of becoming a mother, I know I can take care of a little hair.

Growing Pains

2007-12-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

This weekend was the first time I looked at my hair, felt my hair and thought "Okay, this is not cool." I'm sure after 25 years of relaxed hair, it's normal for a girl to think "What have I gotten myself into?" Not so much regretting my "new" hair, but more of this is seriously going to take time for me to get a handle on.

I like to twist my hair all over at night after a good washin', sleep on it then untwist, sheen and go in the morning. This was the plan for Saturday morning when I had an early breakfast to go to and plans for a holiday picture to be taken of me and the fam. All went well during the twisting, but the morning after left a lot to be desired.

First off my hair was apparently dried out from the product "LottaBody" I put on each twist to help hold in that twisty look. There wasn't enough oil in the world to make that look any better so I had to call in the big guns. I used a combination of water, curl activating gel, shine booster and a moisturizing lotion to help fix the disaster that was my hair. Not only was it dry, it had the nerve to grow over the past week or so since the last time I twisted it and it just didn't have that same...umph. I knew for sure I was gonna be late trying to work this one out.

You'd be surprised at how much a few spritzes of water will do for natural hair. It seems to love water, so I make sure I keep it happy. The only problem with that is we have hard water here in good ol' Colorado and hard water and hair don't go together well. I heard that Home Depot sells water softeners and I'm going to have to get myself one. In the meantime, I love Motown Girl's recipe for a clarifyer (1 tablespoon of baking soda mixed in a cup of warm water) because it really works well. I put a lot of gunk in my hair to get the look I like, so this easy recipe helps keep my hair clear of product residue.

I'm quickly learning what will work for my hair and what won't, but it's a process most days. It's time for me to step up my game and spend a little dough on my hair regimen, otherwise I'm going to be a hot, dried out mess...and I don't care who you are, that ain't cute. I'll let you know what I try and how it works.

Good Hair

2007-11-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

It's strange for me to hear someone say, "Oh, she has good hair." Partly because of the movie "Crooklyn" when the little black girl whose ponytail sticks straight up in the air says it to a Puerto Rican girl whose long hair falls down to her butt. But partly because it's really sad to have the self-hatred so many black people have for themselves and their own culture shoved in my face.

For anyone who may not know, "good hair" in the African-American community is considered to be a more manageable, typically straighter, longer grade of hair. For lack of a better description, the closer a black persons hair is to a European's hair the better. So tight, "nappy", "kinky", even "Kunta" textured hair is considered bad hair. And yes, I've heard hair described in each of these ways. But why does it have to be any better to have less curl at the root of the hair? Because it's easier to care for or style? I can see that, but who ever said we had to do anything to our hair besides wash and moisturize it? Why use a hot comb to straighten it? For versatility maybe, but if that's the case we all have to use some degree of heat or chemical to obtain that versatility. "Good hair" or not.

See, since the big chop, I've enjoyed washing my hair more often, going to the gym and not worrying about my "new growth" sprouting up because my head sweats, and I sure love storing my heating elements in the bottom drawer in my bathroom. My hair doesn't have to be bone straight for me to be okay. It did take some time for me to get to this place, mentally, so I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but natural hair is far more versatile than anything you will get from a relaxer. As mine grows out I could straighten it for an occassion, twist it, or just wash and wear...show me a relaxed head of hair with options like those.

What women choose to do with their hair is solely up to them, I just hope the reasoning for their choices doesn't degrade who they are, who their parents are, or who their ancestors are. You don't have to be "Happy and Nappy" but if suddenly we couldn't get our hands on a relaxer, weave hair or any heating/straightening elements, what would you do and how would it affect how you feel about the woman in the mirror?

Growing old Gracefully

2007-11-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

When I was 16 I found a long strand of gray hair in the middle of my head. You read it right, 16. Over time I might have found one along with that lone strand but nothing like I have in the past two years. I have so much scraggly gray shooting from my roots I am not sure there is enough hair color on earth to keep up with it.

Since having cut my hair I realize less coverage means more visibility...of GRAY! I'm all of 29 years, one month and one week and I have gray sprouting, and staying, all throughout my hair. Whoever said "Grow old gracefully" was probably already pretty old...grown I am, but old I am not and will not claim until mayyybe 80. Now I'm all for a woman, a mature woman, keeping herself up as she increases in years (wasn't that just so polite and PC?). You know, exercising, eating right, enjoying life...and allowing the wrinkles and breasts to fall where they may. I hate seeing an older woman who's had "work" done on her face or breasts, that just isn't cute at all. You're not 18, 25, or even 50, let time have its way with you. I plan to. But not yet.

Time has no right to take over my hair color the way it has. I color it and the next day there is a straggler who escaped or overpowered the strength of the hair dye. And they are always right in front along the edges of my now-curly 'do. What's more, I complained when the curlier gray would stand out against my chemically straightened hair because it was in fact curlier. Now I have curls in abundance and the gray isn't curly enough! Give me a break.

I don't know what it's going to take but I'm not ready to grow old gracefully. If I have this much gray at 29 what will I look like at 35? I'll tell you what I'll look like, that hottie on the front of the Dark & Lovely color number 373 - Brown Sable. Growing old is for 80 year olds, I've got a few years to look fresh, young, spry...even if those words apply solely to my hair.

He Loves Me, but He Hates It

2007-11-27T15:17:00.000-08:00

Well there I was all freshly coiffed and every time my darling hubby, Babe, looked at me he was visibly distressed by what he saw...or didn't see. He has this special "look" he reserves for sheer disgust and that was the "look" he shot my way whenever I crossed his path.

I loved my new 'do, but I was still adjusting to the beautiful but different Natalie. So his response to my look hurt. Sure he'd adjust, and in fact he has, but the first days after my "big chop" left him almost speechless.

Being adored by Babe has always been one of my favorite aspects of our relationship, but the Natalie he preferred looking at was no more. We met when I was 18 and I had, of course, that long flowing hair that was a big part of his attraction. Not that big, but big. Heck I'm a hottie all by myself, but I am fully aware that some men love long hair and he's no exception. But his blatant dislike of my little 'fro was hard on a girl. I don't care how confident you are (I do okay) if your man suddenly thinks, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!" it's tough. He was that guy who tells his woman who's gained weight after having babies, or just gained weight over time, that she needs to get her big butt to the gym. That was not my Babe and it made me sad.

I was sad but I didn't regret my decision because it was mine and mine alone and I didn't do it for him. I didn't do it to disgust him either, but I did do it solely for NATALIE.

Later, about 48 hours post chop, he went from detesting it to attempting to help me make "it" better.

"Maybe you could twist it and let it loose so it'll be curlier?" He asked. I must admit day one was very 'froish which wasn't my favorite look, so I have to cut the guy some (just a little) slack.

"I'll try different things but I just got it cut so I have to figure it out."

"You look like you smoke weed, listen to Erykah Badu and burn incense," he joked. And I did. Or do (have that look I mean). "You've got that Afrocentric vibe now. Angela Davis. Black Panther, Power to the People. That's the look."

And or DUH, it was a little afro, why wouldn't I remind him of such? But deep inside I felt wonderful to be compared to that time, to those people. I loved it. I felt gorgeous, I felt free.

Having Babe go through the earliest stage of his adjustment was really hard on me, especially when I was still working on truly loving it myself. Sure I liked it, but when people you know glance at you like "whoa" and pretend that layer of wooly hair isn't really there it can make you second-guess yourself a little. But once you've made up YOUR mind that this is what you want, it gets easier. The initial shock is rough though.

Babe likes it now, at least he doesn't look like he wants to cuss when he sees me, and I'm far more confident than I was on day one and two...and it's only been about a week! If nothing else I am more confident in my own skin, feel sexier and carry myself as such. What man can resist that? I don't care if you're bald, no man can deny the beauty of a strong black woman who walks with the pride of the kings and queens she calls her ancestors. I've turned over a new leaf and all it took was a pair of scissors.

All-Natural: Finally

2007-11-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

As of November 17, I am no longer the girl my family and friends know with the long, chemically relaxed locks that have adorned my face since I was at least two years old. Over time I may have gone with a chin-length bob and twice even shorter but this is the first time I have ever seen my hair at 2 maybe 3 inches in length. To top it off it's curly so most of that length is coiled atop my head.

In mid-August I decided to do away with relaxers for good. I was tired of being on my hair's timetable of every 8 weeks having to have my new inch or so of growth straightened to match the length that fell past my shoulders. I was sick of doing one of two styles: ponytail or flat-ironed, and after losing 50 pounds (over time) and being relieved of the gray cloud of depression I was ready for something new.

My plan was to work with my new growth and hang on to my relaxed length until March or May. Whenever I felt the most brave. Come November my new growth seemed to have a growth spurt making it virtually impossible to manage the two textures.

"Dear God, when it's time for me to cut it, please make it okay with me and for me. Amen." I prayed one Saturday morning. That same day I felt a wave of peace flow over me and I immediately called my mom, aka "my stylist", to have her get ready for my big chop. I was excited, anxious, nervous, thrilled all at the same time.

Some days I was more nervous, others more thrilled, but when I had to set aside 30 minutes to work with my hair before I could leave the house I knew it was time. I don't spend more than 30 minutes getting ready period, let alone 30 minutes on my top piece!

That Saturday came and I woke early to make the trek to my mom's house and salon where I'd watch several inches of my hair fall to the floor. I expected to leave a puddle of tears along with that hair, instead I felt relief....joy....freedom.

"I don't know why any black woman wants natural hair," my mom said.

But what the chemically altered hair covered was a head full of beautiful, soft curls. I couldn't believe what I saw...I loved it!

"Wow look at how it curls up!" mom said sliding a coil between her fingers and watching it spring back. "It's so pretty!"

I didn't know what would work for my new 'do (I'm still working that part out) but I was willing to figure it out. It was me under all of that relaxed hair. Me, untainted, curly, beautiful. Me, naturally.